The Right Partner For You

They say “Love is blind”, “Love knows no bounds”, and “Love is beautiful”

Indeed, Love is an incredible experience; however, it could be very misleading because love has a habit of making one see relationships through rose-tinted glasses, for this reason, lovers are not always in the right frame of mind to understand  whether their relationship is healthy and built to last or not.

When cupid’s arrow hits, the brain’s thinking ability is often relegated to the back stage, you see no evil, hear no evil and speaks only love, but don’t be deceived, because things can go so very wrong so very fast when you don’t see “the hand writing on the wall”.

Do not worry; here are some “writing on the wall” to help you identify if your relationship is healthy and built to last.

1.    How do you and your partner communicate during disagreements, do you play the blame game or address each other respectfully? If your communication is cordial, then your relationship is healthy and built to last.

2.    Do you share common values with your partner? If your answer is yes, then your relationship is healthy and built to last.

3.    Do you and your partner feel comfortable with
•    sharing feelings
•    relying on one another,
•    showing your closeness in the presence of all.
If your answer is yes, then your relationship is healthy and built to last.

4.    Do you consider that your partner needs to change, so you feel compelled to “help” him change? If your answer is yes, then your relationship is definitely in trouble, you must get out of it.

5.    Do you consider your partner influencing you to be a better person? Do you influence your partner to becoming a better person? If your answer is yes, then your relationship is healthy and built to last.

6.    Are you willing to lose an argument to your partner in the presence of others? If your answer is yes, then your relationship is healthy and built to last.

7.    Do you consider your partner your best friend? If your answer is yes, then your relationship is healthy and built to last.

8.    Do you and your partner trust each other well enough to avoid worrying when your partner leaves or do you harbor the thought that your partner could be playing a fast one while away? If your trust is solid, then your relationship is healthy and built to last.

9.    Would you allow your partner full access to you mobile device (phone)? If your answer is yes, then your relationship is healthy and built to last.

10.     Do you and your partner have a “we” and “us” relationship, rather than a “you” and “I” relationship? If your relationship is the “we” type, then your relationship is healthy and built to last.

11.     Do you consider it appropriate to please others like family and friends at the expense of your partner during social functions and explain to your partner later the necessity for your action? If your answer is yes, then your relationship is definitely in trouble, you must get out of it.

12.     Do you encourage your partner to set goals and achieve them? If your answer is yes, then your relationship is healthy and built to last.

13.     Do you consider that your partner has a life too that needs your consideration? If your answer is yes, then your relationship is healthy and built to last.

14.     Are you willing to sacrifice you comfort for your partners happiness? If your answer is yes, then your relationship is healthy and built to last.

15.     Does decision-making cause conflicts between you and your partner? Do you feel that your partner should take all the decision because you don’t want to rock the boat? If your answer is yes, then your relationship is definitely in trouble, you must get out of it.

16.     Do you consider your partner the boss who must always tell you what to do before you can act? If your answer is yes, then your relationship is definitely in trouble, get out of it before commitments are made.

17.     Do you feel disturbed when you partner displays an act of kindness to others in your presence? If your answer is yes, then your relationship is definitely in trouble, you must learn to trust your partner.

Wouldn’t it be better to experience breakup in a bad relationship before the “for better for worse” vows are made? Breakups are really not that bad when relationships are stormy, this is because in the words of Gary W Lewandowski, a relationship scientist, and professor of psychology at Monmouth University,

“staying in a bad relationship is the worst possible thing for you,”